By Pastor Stef McDonald.
Have you ever eaten a steak that is cooked to perfection? The meat is perfectly tender and soft, and it just melts in your mouth. I’m feeling hungry writing about it. A tough, burnt steak is a very different story. You may eat a tough steak if you’re hungry, but you definitely won’t enjoy it as much as you would if it was tender and soft.
Our hearts are a bit like that. God cares a lot about the condition of our hearts. God wants our hearts to be tender and soft because everything we do flows from our heart. (Proverbs 4:23)
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:31-32 (NLT)
Tender-heartedness is a Christian virtue. That means, it’s not just a personality type reserved for a few; or just associated with those with a high mercy gift. Tender-heartedness is something every follower of Jesus should seek to have.
Tender-heartedness does not make you “soft”, as in “weak”. On the contrary, it makes you strong in spirit and character. Paul, who wrote the book of Ephesians, was definitely not weak. He says,
“Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was pelted with stones, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea…” 2 Corinthians 11:24-25 NIV
Pretty heavy-duty stuff. He endured incredible things in his life. But through it all he remained tenderhearted, and God used him in an amazing way.
Another great example from the Bible is King David. (You can read about the life of David in 1 and 2 Samuel.) As a shepherd boy he killed lions and bears to protect his sheep. He then went on to kill Goliath, a 7 foot high giant, with just a sling and a stone. He grew to become a mighty warrior. They sang about him that he killed his tens of thousands in battle.
And God chose this shepherd boy, turned warrior, to be the King of all Israel. You see the previous king of Israel, King Saul, had become proud and hard-hearted, so God had to remove him.
“But God removed Saul and replaced him with David, a man about whom God said, ‘I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart. He will do everything I want him to do.’” Acts 13:22
He chose David to replace Saul because David was a man after God’s own heart. He was a mighty warrior, but he was also incredibly tenderhearted. He wrote most of the book of Psalms, where he pours out his heart to God in praise and lament.
Saul had a hard heart. A hard heart = pride = striving = entitled = ungrateful = can’t hear God’s voice = desentized to sin.
David had a tender heart. A tender heart = surrendered = thankful = sensitive to God’s voice = Holy Spirit led = fruitful.
It’s pretty simple. A hard heart is like the hard soil. It can’t produce much good. But a tender heart is like the soft soil, and good things are going to grow in it.
So how did David cultivate a tender heart?
HE ALLOWED GOD TO SEARCH HIS HEART.
“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24 NIV
In order to let God search your heart you have to be vulnerable with God. There’s not a lot of people you can be totally vulnerable with, but you CAN be totally vulnerable with God. You can let your guard down with God, and let him in. He is our safe hiding place. We can trust God with our heart.
When we let God search our heart, it’s like opening up the door and letting him shine a bright torch in all the nooks and crannies. God shines his light on the things that are not good and that we need to change, as well as on the hurts and offences that we need to clear out and let go of. He attends to any wounds and heals them.
This can be uncomfortable. It’s easier to stay in the dark.
“All who do evil hate the light and refuse to go near it for fear their sins will be exposed.” John 3:20 NLT
But God’s light brings freedom! Freedom from sin, and freedom from the heavy burden of unforgiveness. Allowing God to regularly search our hearts and clean them up is the key to living tenderhearted. And living tenderhearted is the key to doing great things for God.
So let me encourage you to follow David’s example, and do this one simple thing: Let God check your heart everyday.
A great time to do it is before you go to bed at night. But you can do it anytime, anywhere.
Pray David’s prayer:
“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
Repentance: Is there any wrong-doing or wrong-thinking that you need to change? Repentance means to change your thinking; to turn 180 degrees. It’s not about feeling guilty or condemned. Condemnation pushes us down. God doesn’t condemn us. He convicts us of where we need to change, leading us back onto His right path. This is how we live out God’s great plan for our life.
Forgiveness: Is there any hurt or offence you need to forgive? Forgiveness is releasing or letting go of offence. It’s important we do this before a root of bitterness grows up. Bitterness is like a bad weed that chokes out all the other good plants. Keep releasing your hurts and offences to God (again and again… AND AGAIN), and ask him to heal your heart. Forgiveness is not a suggestion but a command! Following Jesus means forgiving others as God forgave you. If we walk in forgiveness everyday, we will walk in freedom.
Check out this message from Pastor John which talks more about repentance and forgiveness.
God will meet you where you are. Wherever you are. No matter the current state of your heart, God loves you and his grace is big enough for you. He is for you, not against you. You can trust him with your heart.